So I did a powerlifting meet....

I can't believe it. I did my first powerlifting meet a couple of weeks ago (Bend the Bar in Austin, Dec 7 2014). Can I call myself a powerlifter now?

It was such a looooong day, but I left the meet feeling really energized and accomplished. It didn't start out that way though...

The Squat

Two weeks ago I worked with my trainer to work on my openers. She told me my first attempt should be at a weight I can do 3 reps of. She let me borrow her knee sleeves for squats, and I was able to hit 160lb for 3. So going into the meet, I thought I had 160 down. However, like I feared, depth was an issue for me. I didn't hit my first attempt because I didn't go low enough. Right there, I thought: "I'm so disappointing. This is setting up the day for failure." I'm big on themes. I like to categorize events under certain headers. And so when I missed my first attempt, I was already writing a loser heading and painting the day with somber colors. But I was with my trainer, and she psyched me up for my second attempt. I put the omen talk behind me, got under the bar, dropped it low, and drove it back up. *whew* 160 down. On my final attempt, I was repeating all the cues, but a lot of it just goes out the window when you unrack the weight and step out. Instinct takes over, for better or worse. Again, I dropped it low and when I got out of the hole, I couldn't drive it up. The novice lifter in me was trying to use brute force at that point, but what I needed was technique. 175 was a no go.

My 175lb missed attempt. I wasn't able to drive it up.

The Bench
Back to themes: I was disappointed I had only one successful squat attempt. The headline at the moment was: "girl barely squeaks by". After warming up for bench, I knew I had my first attempt down. It was 88lb and it flew right up. My trainer set my second/third numbers and she didn't tell me what they were (which is what I wanted). I got my second attempt and third attempt too! The heading of the day was slowly becoming more uplifting- to one of perseverance and triumpth. After my third attempt, I turned to my trainer to see what numbers I hit. I hit 104.7lb for the final attempt (95 was my second attempt). I think I literally jumped for joy. I had a back-of-the-mind goal of over 100, and I'm so glad I hit it. It was definitely the confidence boost I needed to finish out the day.

The Deadlift
Then there was the deadlift. I knew my squat and especially bench were fairly lightweight numbers, but I felt like I had a decent deadlift for a first timer. But at warmup, the bar felt heavy. I don't know if it was because I was still nursing a moody back or what. My initial attempt was supposed to be 225lb, but my trainer dropped it to 215lb. I think I was secretly relieved. I knew hands down I could hit 215, and I could most likely make my second and third attempts if the leap was kept conservative. And again, I hit all three attempts: 215, 225, 237.5 (pr).

My Total: 502.2
Afterwards I tried not to downplay it like I tend to do. I had 2 PRs and left feeling great and not beaten. I think I had some fuel left in the tank, but I'm glad that for my first meet I didn't try to kill myself for the best numbers. I went out there and did my best, got a trophy, got some PRs, and left with lots of learnings.

So grateful I had my trainer by my side. She's awesome!

Conclusion

I'll definitely continue to train and continue to put my best foot forward. I tend to be competitive, but this year I'll let the gains just organically happen. I'm not putting time tables on lifts. I'm just going to do work and see where that lands me.

Below is a mashup of my successful attempts. Squat: 160lb; Bench: 105lb; The deadlift shown was my first attempt @ 215lb (not the last)

First #powerlifting meet. #bendthebar #uspa #deadlift #bench #pr

A video posted by Dom (@lodotrim) on Dec 12, 2014 at 8:21am PST

Just... eat all the food

You have no idea how tired I am of reading about gaining/losing weight during the holiday season. I never honestly thought about it before following lots of health blogs. Some blogs put so much emphasis on it, and its got me wondering:

Shoot, am I in danger of gaining weight this season? Am I doing enough to stop the encroaching  , inevitable fat gain? If I'm not thinking about it, has the fat already won?

The main message is to eat moderately, which overall is good advice. But I find it so annoying, so self-righteous, and I'm over it. The advice is the same for any social occasion so I don't understand the holiday focus. The holidays can be stressful as is- I just feel like this advice puts more pressure on people.

Image from: http://goldenagestrengthclub.com/how-to-avoid-holiday-weight-gain/  And my head hurts after skimming the article.

And another trend I'm finding really annoying is: "Look, I ate cheese, I drank wine, I ate bread- and it is okay. I still love myself." Again, totally agree with the message. But when you look into it: It's one glass of wine, it's like one bread roll. Talk to me when you are actually binging on this stuff.

Image from: http://thisiswhyyourecute.com/tiny-cheese-plate/

Just enjoy the holidays and your vacation. These are not times to stress about your weight. If you gain weight, you'll lose it next month. Weight tends to do that. If you eat healthy and exercise most of the year, your body will get back to its happy place.

Final message: Eat your turkey, eat your mash potatoes, eat tons rolls, and eat all the pie. And if you don't want to? Then don't eat all the food. Just let your appetite be natural. Trust me, if you are usually a healthy eater, you'll be craving lean meats and veggies after days of chocolate and rolls abandon. Don't have the burden of fat-gain hanging over you. It really is okay if you gain a few pounds, stay the same, or lose weight... whatever. It won't be the end of the world either way.

Mix and Match

I like to follow different fitness professionals for their workout routines and tips. But I also like to do my own thing- so I tend to mix and match routines depending on my current mode.

Like today: Sunday is typically my active rest day, but I didn't want to leave the house (brrr... it's cold) to go to a yoga class. Plus, I didn't do cardio on Saturday (typically I do kickboxing)- so I felt like I was due for some heart pumping action. I wanted to workout, but nothing too hard core, because like I wrote, Sunday's a rest day. Frankenstein workout for the win!

I spliced together a workout from Neghar Fonooni's bodyweight quickie and kettlebell quickie, along with hip thrusters and an ab work, to form the following circuit:

5 rounds:

• 10/10 paused single leg hip thruster
• 12/12 feet elevated spider planks
• 10 kettlebell swing-into-goblet squat
• 10/10 lunge jump/lunge skip 

I seriously underestimated the routine. I thought it would take about 15 minutes, but each round was around 5 minutes including rest time (which I needed for the lunge jump combo). I was sweaty at the end of it as you can see in the video below. The workout was long enough where it gave my muscles a run for their money, but short enough where I don't think it will mess up my rest schedule. On Mondays, I focus on bench press and shoulders; so my circuit was lower body focused.

I use Pinterest to pin different exercises. When the mood arises for an at home workout, I go to my board and pick a couple exercises from different routines to make up a 15-20 minute set. Sometimes I'll keep notes in my email of exercise routines I should try or haven't done in awhile. On days where I want more of a workout, I'll create 2 circuits or I'll run to the nearby track (3 minutes away) and work on some pullups and hanging leg raises and then run back. All-in-all, my at home workouts are under an hour. It's super fun to mix and match. I take more ownership in my workouts that way and I look forward completing them.

Throwback Thursday - Celebrating the Past

I've read a number of before and after blog posts, and I usually read how miserable the person in the before pic was. The post basically lambasts the person in the before pic, while celebrating how far the person in the after pic has come. This is not what I want to do today. I want to celebrate the person in the before picture. I want to go back in time and hug her. I want to tell her how beautiful she is, how smart she is, and how generally awesome she is. I don't even want to bring health and fitness into the dialog because hobbies or your waistline do not define your value. I want to take a moment to celebrate the heart in the girl below. I want to celebrate her dedication and perseverance to overcome mental stumbling blocks. Health and fitness was the strategy that helped her overcome her mental fog; however, it was only a tool. She could have easily chosen volunteering or something else to ignite her passion for something... for anything. What matters is that she took the initiative to change a bad situation for the better, and for that--

  Hear! Hear! for the girl in the before picture

11/28/2011- about 3 years ago

Newest toy: Breville Juicer

I've always been curious about juicing, and I finally decided to buy an introductory juicer. I've been experimenting with different greens to see how I can get the most juice out of them. So far I'm having poor luck with spinach and kale. And, duh, after seeing some youtube reviews of my particular juicer- it's the consensus that the Breville is poor at juicing soft greens. But I'm going to keep it and hope I can get better at it. Plus, this juicer was sort of an impulse buy. I don't want to spend more money on a juicer if I'm quitting the juicing game after week 1.

The juice I made this morning:

Made about 5 oz of juice:

• 2 watermelon squares (for some sweetness)
• Handful of kale
• 4 celery stalks
• 1/2 cucumber
• 1/4 lemon
• Handful of cilantro

^^^ This was the general order I put the produce through. Also, in purple, are produce that came prepackaged, which saved me a lot of work.

I really love the taste of green juice. It's not like it is delicious, but the taste is really refreshing and addicting. Again, I'm new to the juicing game- so I'm still playing with quantity of ingredients. I was hoping to get more than 5 oz for all the produce I put into it. I'm sure if I put in a whole lemon or a whole cucumber the volume would increase. Also, I'm a bit disappointed about the efficacy of juicing soft greens- which was sort of the reason why I bought the juicer. I don't want to up the quantity of the greens only to marginally increase the juice contents. I'll play around some more. Celery and cucumber are great to juice with so far.

Dieting is hard

I'm really trying to keep to 1500-1600 calories, but my addiction to nut butters and protein bars is getting the best of me. It makes me wonder how I had the discipline to lose the weight in the first place.

As far as current progress, I'm at my heaviest of the year at 136lbs. I really want to body fat test to see if it is mostly muscle since I started powerlifting. I've gotten a lot stronger over the months. I recently had my measurements done and I'm down in my hips and arms. Not surprisingly, I gained in my quads. But surprisingly gained at my waist. Just gotta keep trucking. I have a meet in October, and I need to be down to 132. 

Day 2 of tracking

I'm hungry. I'm not sure if it's because of the mental restriction of: DONT EAT OFF PLAN. But I really can't wait to go home to eat. It's no fun tracking your food when you are eating at a caloric deficit.

I still need to figure out the rest of my dinner, but here's the current plan:

Track, baby, track

I am now back on the myfitnesspal bandwagon. I've proven that I can maintain, now I want to see if I can lean out again.

www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/lodotrim

Here's what day 1 looks like:

I'm over on calories, but at this point I just want to get back into the process of logging.

I'm sort of all over the place: sometimes I'm tracking, other times I'm not... A healthy lifestyle is a journey, and never trust anyone who thinks they have it all figured out. It's natural to ebb and flow. Test the waters and see what works best for you. One day it may be more strict planning, and other times you may only have the focus to thumbnail it. Neither approach is wrong. You have so many tools in your toolkit!

After looks a lot like Before

My goal for 2014 is maintenance. If I can go a whole year without gaining a lot of fat, I will call the goal obtained. From left to right: January, march, and July.

 You don't really see a difference, right? So far, success. And surprisingly I have about 1.5% less body fat now, compared to the beginning of the year. It's probably due to muscle weight from lifting. 

Meal Plan.... Schmeal Plan

Okay, I haven't quite given up on meal planning completely. But I have been more lax over the process (and I think I came at it already with a laid-back attitude). This is due to my current nutrition/fitness autopilot mode and not really trying to lose weight. So I'm not really writing down what I eat or planning too much into the future. I'm trusting that I have enough food stocked to make decent meals. And so far, I have. That doesn't mean that I am not cooking. Here's a list of what I've made recently:

• Baba Ganoush and Baked Chicken from Well Fed
• Brussel Sprouts salad with creamy shallot dressing (I omitted cheese and used cranberries instead of pomegranates)
• Variation of Strawberry Basil Mango salad (I omitted the onions and the chile, and I ate it with greek yogurt)
• No bake protein bars
• Baked Steel Cut Oats (Instead of blueberries, I used goji berries and raisins. And added a scoop of vegan vanilla protein powder)
• Sunshine sauce (used as a dip and a dressing for quick salads w/ applegate sausage)
• Variation of Apple Pancakes (I made these one serving and replaced the coconut flour with a scoop of vanilla egg white protein and 1 tbsp of flax. I also added one half a banana).
• Tostadas from this recipe 

I'm trying to eat more veggies. I've eaten raw veggies with baba ganoush and hummus. I also combined radishes, mangoes, cilantro, and lime juice (in the jar) that I ate with greek yogurt and topped on a tostada. 

Yummmmm, apple pancakes. I ate these after a workout. I was famish at the start of cooking, but the pancakes were worth the cooking time.

What's next:

I'm thinking of making this recipe of Chicken Stew w/ cauliflower rice.

I also have some chicken fajitas in the fridge (boyfriend went to Lupe Tortilla) that I will probably eat with some frozen veggies.

On Autopilot and Overcoming Binge Eating

I saw my nutritionist last week, and I was really surprised at my weigh-in. I weighed 124 pounds, and that number astounded me. Here I was not weighing myself everyday and not counting calories, but I still lost weight? It was so unreal.

The yellow line is my fat weight line. My nutritionist uses a different way to test body fat than my last body fat results. But the decline in fat is still evident. And this isn't even the full picture. I weighed 148 when I first starting seeing her, but my highest weight was 182.

This outcome is good and bad: good- because I know my autopilot is working; bad- because it could cause me to test the boundaries and slack off on my healthy eating ways. I do have a tendency to see how much I can get away with. And that is where I think quarterly check-ins will do me good. I plan on seeing the nutritionist in three months. I will try to keep up with the same autopilot and see where I land in a few months! But so far so good.

I have also started to look into how to cope with a binge eating disorder. Sometimes it is hard for me to tell whether I am hungry or anxious, since both feelings originate from the gut and cause jitteriness. And at times, I want to eat ALL THE FOOD. I can be at a concession stand and just eye in want at ALL THE FOOD... food that I don't typically eat: m&ms, peanuts, ice cream, pizza, chicken strips and fries... ALL THE FOOD. I hardly ever get the concession stand food, but every time I walk away my overall food anxiety raises just a tad. And then when that stress level reaches the edge of the glass: food watch out.

I also think about food all the time: whether it's determining my hunger level or holding back the walls of a food binge. I want to stop thinking about food. I just want to eat, but my brain is always firing. I am constantly thinking: "what next do I eat" "I ate too much yesterday" "It's okay, today is another day (but I circle back to: I ate too much yesterday)" "Am I really hungry or bored or nervous?" I just ate 2 hours ago, is it too soon to eat?".

But wait, if you are a binge eater: how did I lose all the weight?

Just looking at my numbers, you wouldn't know that I am in constant battle over food. It's been a mental challenge for sure. But I have implemented strategies to deal with it- I don't eat 'junk food'; I try to avoid foods that spike my blood sugar; I try to eat fats at every meal to keep me satiated. But with that said, I can still overdo on 'healthy' food like nut-butters or paleo-converted desserts. I'm trying to limit those binge urges.

Through my research, I've discovered the 'binge' voice. I've discovered that this voice is not unique to me. I found this post from "Brain over Binge" which summed up the voice nicely:

"It is my belief that in bulimia/BED, the urges to binge are the one and only cause of binge eating. Most of the time, these urges have a "voice" - one that sounds like your own - which strongly encourages the destructive eating behavior. In bulimia/BED, the woman usually views the voice as her enemy; she knows (at least on some level) that the voice is not expressing what she truly wants."

Understanding the theory behind my urges will help me overcome my food obsession. Because when you finally accepts things, you have to make a choice: status quo or change. You (I) can no longer hide your (my) head in the sand. There is no longer any mystery behind something when you define it. And that is what I set out to do.

Optimized Self vs Ideal Self

Another 2 week update--

So I got my body fat results and I am down 2.5% body fat over the last 4 months. My fear of gaining weight since ditching the scale was avoided as I remained the same weight.

Down 2.5%. You also see my lean mass has dipped down. This could be because I'm not eating enough or getting enough protein. Not sure, but I'm okay with my current lean mass.

The person doing the testing recommends that "healthy" is at 19%, but I'm not going to try to get any lower. My goal for the next couple months is to maintain without counting calories and daily weigh-ins. And this is where I've been spending a lot of time thinking about where I ideally want to be (at 15%) and where my body operates optimally (probably close to where I am now). Optimally to me is where I exercise and eat right naturally; where I am able to see endurance and strength gains and eat to satiety and pleasure without gaining weight. Yes, I believe that I could get down to 15% body fat, but I don't think the mental and physical stress would be worth it because to get down to that number I would be obsessing over calories and protein intake, as well as obsessing over exercise. Of course, ideally I wouldn't have extra cushion on my love handles, lower abdomen, or inner thighs. I pinch my fat and ask myself is the effort and stress to try and get rid of you worth it? And right now the answer is: No, I can live with the fat if I can keep my sanity.

Next week, I am seeing my nutritionist where I do another weigh in. I think I've been even more lax over these last two weeks because I'm not even estimating calories. We shall see if my autopilot is functioning properly.

As far as meal planning: I honestly have been relying a lot on convenience and flying by the seat of my pants. I still do not go out for food, but I admit I've been abusing protein bars a little too much. I'm slowly adjusting to more cooked meals over the next couple weeks. As far as what I have made:

• Turkey meatloaf with brussel sprout salad
• Paleo Chicken Tetrazzini (without mushroom and coconut milk)
• Paleo Almond Butter Bread (I wanted a savory bread so I didn't add vanilla or sweetener. I have eaten it with different spreads,including blueberry chia jam, and turkey bacon!)
• Snack: Coconut/Greek yogurt/chia pudding (with strawberries), protein thin mint cookies (I made a single serving), almond banana bites (I quartered it for 4 servings), Greek Yogurt basil dip, and single serve cashew cream

I've been experimenting a lot with snacks lately. 

As far as my movement for the last two weeks: I have been trying to increase my deadlift and I am up to 130lbs, just a tad above my body weight. I also have been doing quick workouts more, like: this kettlebell workout and stairmaster intervals. I also keep doing different pushup variations (one handed on bosu, decline, incline, diamond pushups). I also had a dance performance last week which was super fun.

You can see that I've been a bit lax on tracking, but I'm still working out about 5 times a week. And I still feel strong. I feel good.

Ditching the scale and loving it

I haven't updated in 2 weeks! This is mostly because I hadn't been in the right mindset. I was caring too much about my weight and my eating habits. I was stressing out. I usually weigh myself everyday, and was generally okay with the process. But lately, my weight was fluctuating and my mood tagged along with it. I was happy at the lows, but then irritable and frustrated when I bounced up in weight. I was unreasonably pissed off that I was eating well and exercising, yet gaining back 2 lbs. I seriously was off the slow and steady philosophy, which was my bedrock. And I dived into neurosis.

I knew this stress couldn't continue. So I took a couple of breaths and really told myself that I am freaking awesome.

Face it, you are awesome :) Yes... you!

I had dabbled with this kind of self love in recent posts, but I hadn't really believed it. But not this time around. Hitting a low point mentally shed some light, strangely enough, on what really matters. I don't want to start singing kumbayas, but something seriously finally clicked. I looked at the fat on my thighs, arms, and stomach... and was like "so what." I am strong and healthy. So what I am not at 15% body fat. So the freaking what.

I no longer want to say anything negative about this.

This sense of freedom flooded me. I had been living these past two years not feeling good enough. I had this mindset that I would only be good enough if I hit a certain weight or body fat percentage (where I no longer jiggled). I put all this undeserved pressure on myself. What a burden that was lifted when I realized I didn't have to live with that pressure!

The first thing I did was ask my boyfriend to hide the bathroom scale. I haven't weighed myself in one week, and it has been AMAZING and absolutely freeing. I just eat when I'm hungry and move how I like. It's like duh.

I have also been looking at myself in a different light. I love the fact my body is a mix of hard and soft. I have some muscle definition but with curves. I will continue to eat healthy and exercise, but I'll no longer weigh myself or check measurements on a daily/monthly basis. My nutritional habits are pretty much engrained in me at this point. There are some days I may binge on nutbutters or Hail Merry tarts or protein muffins or homemade popcorn. But those days are few and far between. I need to give myself more credit; I know what I need to do stay healthy.

As part of my neurosis I pre-paid for a body-fat test, which I'm taking this Saturday. If I had this revelation earlier, I wouldn't had scheduled one. But since it's already paid for, I'm going to test. I really hope my current strong mindset will holdup. I am worried that if I see that I gained weight, I'll revert back. But I keep telling myself if I just continue with healthy habits, it will all be good. *crossing fingers*

Tip: If you ever find yourself overanalyzing workouts or your eating and stressing out about your weight, just step back and take a break. That stress is seriously avoidable. Just walk away from that pent up pressure. Let off some steam and have an indulgence, ditch the scale. And say so what to the fat you think you have to lose. 

Embrace your awesomeness at.this.very.moment. Not 5lbs from now. Continue with your healthy routine; take it to autopilot. 

As far as meal planning, I kept to the same routine despite my stress level. I'm writing this down for my benefit. It helps to see what I have made in the past:

• Cuban burgers w/ sauteed spinach and lizard sauce (From Well Fed 2)
• Sauteed chicken with butternut squash and zucchini (From a paper cookbook)
• Valentine days specials: Lava cake and Chocolate Brownie Cheesecake

As far as this week, I'm still eating chicken leftovers.

• For my other meal: Curry Kefir Marinated Chicken w/ Ginger-Mint Japanese Sweet Potatoes
• Snack: Banana Chia Pudding (of course with a scoop of protein powder)

As far as my movement for the last two weeks. I'm not going to write it all out, but some highlights:

• Friday leg days included (not all on the same day): squat variations, cable leg abductors, deadlifts, one-legged hip thrusters and attempted pistol squats. The most I deadlifted was 115lbs. The most I squatted was 105lbs. 
• Monday upperbody days included (not all on the same days): Inverse pullups, tricep dips, many pushup variations (decline, hand release, plyo, one hand on bosu...), negative pullups, tricep extensions, kettlebell clean and press
• Fitness classes: Bootcamp, boxing, and kickboxing
• Misc: 1 yoga session, some turkish getup rounds, 1 12 minute circuit, a handful of treadmill sprints, and dance!

It was a good two weeks of movement!

**And that concludes my 2 week update**

Blips in your routine - You got this

On Sundays, I work at a children's nursery in the morning, which still leaves the rest of the afternoon and evening for relaxing, errand going, and cooking. But this Sunday I also had to work an evening shift and had about a 4 hour break between. I'm a routine person and even this change threw me off a little... I started thinking: When am I going to plan? When am I going to cook? Will I have time to relax? Before my mindtalk completely spiraled out, I told myself: You got this.

So what did I end up planning?

• Curry crockpot chicken w/ Broiled Eggplant
• Ground turkey with turkey bacon hash (sweet potatoes, broccoli, and brussels sprouts)

My extra snack: Protein Box Chocolates

During my break between shifts, I went grocery shopping for the needed ingredients. Then I came home and relaxed a bit. Made some protein pancakes. Then next up was to broil the eggplant before I left for work. After work, I threw the curry chicken ingredients in the crockpot and that was that for meal one. Easy Peasy.

Monday's Lunch

One serving protein cupcakes

It is Friday night and I really didn't want a traditional meal. So what did I decide to make? PROTEIN CUPCAKES....mmmmmm. And they were really filling. I was worried that I would get hungry later, but the greek yogurt, almond butter, and protein powder were more than enough to keep me satiated. I adapted the 12 minute Athlete's Protein Cupcakes with Greek Yogurt/Peanut Butter recipe to make only one serving, and I made it grain-free. Like I've written before, I don't like to make multiple servings of baked goods because I will eat them all. I will dirty up bowls, pots, and pans for just one serving goods- but the clean up is all worth it.

Another reason why I decided to make cupcakes was because my order of Espresso Vanilla Almond Butter came in from Wild Friends Nut Butters.

You might have heard of the brand from Shark Tank... which is how I heard of them. I am a sucker for nutbutters and had to give them a try.

Here's my version of one-serving Vanilla Espresso Protein Cupcakes

Ingredients (for the cupcakes)

• 1 scoop of vanilla veggie protein powder
• 2 tbsp of low fat greek yogurt
• 2 tbsp of unsweetened almond milk
• 2 tbsp of flax seed meal
• 3 tbsp of egg white liquid
• .5 tbsp of Vanilla Espresso Almond Butter
• 1/4 a banana
• Pinch of baking soda

Ingredients (for the topping)

• 2 tbsp of low fat greek yogurt
• 1 tbsp of Vanilla Espresso Almond Butter 
• 1 tsp of granulated sweetener (I used xylitol)
• 1 tbsp of unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 strawberry

Directions:

1. Heat your oven to 350 degrees fahrenheit.
2. In a bowl, whip the egg whites for a bit (you don't have to make them into peaks).
3. Add the protein powder, greek yogurt, almond milk, flax seed, almond butter to the egg whites.
4. Mash in the banana to the batter.
5. Pour the batter into 2 muffin cups. My cups were nearly full.
6. Bake for 35 minutes and let them cool before topping them. (I put them in the freezer for 5 minutes because I was impatient).
7. For the topping: Mix all the ingredients together to form your frosting. Quarter a strawberry for the garnish.
8. Enjoy!

Total calories: 433

Total protein: 38 g 

Note: I made these cupcakes as a dinner, so the calories are on the higher side for a snack. To lower the calories, you can 

• Use nonfat greek yogurt
• Sub stevia for the banana
• For the topping, cut the yogurt, almond butter, and cocoa powder in half
• Eat one and save the other one for later (if you can)

Overanalyzing workouts

Confession Time: I'm getting tired of working out. My exercises are starting to consume a lot of my time (both physically and mentally). The reason being is that I have a tendency to overanalyze EVERYTHING. The slow and steady mindset has really helped me out with workout-induced anxiety, but I sometimes can get worked up about improving my progress and seeing quicker results. Sometimes I can ignore my stable workout/nutrition philosophy for constant mindtalk of:

Am I doing enough cardio/conditioning? 

Am I losing my strength gains? 

I haven't done yoga in forever, I need to do yoga. 

Am I eating enough protein? 

Is going to dance enough of a workout for a day? Should I fit in a 12 minute circuit? If so, when do I do it?

All that mindtalk is tiring. I worry about whether the exercises I am doing are the right ones at the right times. I get stuck in my overanalyzing ways and forget about just moving for the heck of it. 

So what am I going to do about it?

I'm going to try and focus on the positives of movement. No matter what it is. I will focus on how good movement makes me feel. Bottom line: I love to workout. I love to sweat. I love to push myself. I will use those exhilarating feelings to propel my workouts, not because I have to be "on schedule." For example, I haven't done yoga in a long time. Instead of thinking and worrying about when I can fit in my next yoga session, I will just let it happen organically. If that doesn't happen in another two weeks, so what? My body is telling me to do other things. When I am really craving yoga, I'll do it.

So what recent workouts did I do?

• Monday, 1/20: This workout
• Tuesday, 1/21: 1 hour bootcamp class
• Wednesday, 1/22: Jazz Fusion dance class
• Thursday, 1/23: 1 hour bootcamp class
• Friday, 1/24: This workout
• Saturday, 1/25: 1 hour kickboxing class
• Sunday, 1/26: 1.5 mile leisure walk
• Monday, 1/27: 30 minute strength training at the gym that focused on upper body, followed by this 20 minute speed demon treadmill workout (note I dropped the starting interval speed to 7.3). My strength training included 2 supersets of:
• Inverted pullups from the smith machine, plyo pushups, and leg raises
• Cable bicep curls, cable tricep pushdowns, and bird dog planks
• Tuesday, 1/28: 45 minute HIT workout from Synergy fitness

Although I started to get tired of working out, I still loved the actual workouts themselves. What I was really getting tired of was my mindtalk.

 Just move.

Another meal planning summary

This week I decided to make the following meals:

• Chicken tenders w/ brussel sprouts chips
• Tomato dijon turkey meatballs w/ twice baked butternut squash

For my extra snack, I plan on making crockpot steel cut oats.

To be honest, I was weary of making the chicken tenders. I never seem to bread chicken right. But I believe practice makes perfect, and I put together a good set up of --

Raw Chicken | Egg White wash | Almond Flour breading | Baking Rack

While the chicken was baking, I prepped the brussel sprout chips. It was kind of fun unlayering the brussel sprouts- it reminded me of one of those russian dolls within a doll.

This is 10 brussel sprouts worth of leaves

As soon as the chicken tenders left the oven, I roasted the brussel sprouts. While the sprouts roasted, I cleaned and put the chicken in its leftover container.

Below is the finished meal:

The recipe included a honey mustard dip, which really made the meal.

Note: Chicken tenders have a tendon in them that should probably be removed. It is not dangerous to eat, but can be a bit disconcerting. Next time I am definitely de-tendoning the chicken tender. Also with this baked recipe, you won't get the crisp texture as if you fried it, but the recipe wasn't a bad healthy compromise.

After dinner I made banana protein muffins (just cause). I ate them really fast and didn't take a picture of them. They were pretty much:

1. Blend:
• 1  banana
• 1 tbsp coconut flour
• 1/2 tbsp almond flour
• 3/4 Scoop of vanilla whey
• 2 tbsp egg whites
• 3/4 tbsp of cocoa powder
• Couple shakes of cinnamon
2. Pour batter into 3 muffin liners
3. Bake 20 minutes (+/- 5 mins) at 350 degrees

The muffins were pretty good, and didn't taste very protein-like. They were small, but I think that is inevitable when cooking with coconut flour, almond flour, and protein powder. And like I mentioned in an earlier post, I don't really like to make 1+ servings of almond flour baked goods because I will gobble up the whole batch. This recipe is one serving and about 270 calories. 

Leftover Remix

Fresh out the oven or stove, my food is generally pretty yummy. But to be honest, my excitement over leftovers wanes as the week progresses. Death by leftovers is one danger of relying on leftovers. But you can make changes to leftovers to make them somewhat new, and you can actually start to look forward to the 3rd or 4th day of eating the same thing.

I made the following main proteins last week:

• Crockpot salsa chicken
• Eggroll in a bowl

To keep things interesting, I incorporated the chicken in the following ways:

Salad: Chicken w/ Broccoli slaw, spinach, almonds, celery, and lime juice

Mixed chicken with spinach and topped it on a chickpea pancake

Made arrowroot tortillas and filled with chicken and broccoli slaw

For the most part, I ate the eggroll in a bowl straight, and I didn't feel a need to change it up (I added siracha to it).

However, I wanted some extra texture on the last day of leftovers. What I was missing was some crunch; so I made an almond flour cracker to go along with it:

The cracker was just what I needed for the final day of leftovers. 

For the almond flour cracker, I slimmed down this recipe so that I only made one serving. With most things almond flour baking, I usually like to make enough for one serving because the food is pretty calorie dense. By making one serving, I know I won't over eat. For one serving, I mixed 14g of almond flour, 1 tbsp of egg white, and a pinch of salt/garlic powder/paprika.

Yes, leftovers can overstay their welcome, but you can change things up or add components to keep it interesting.

Home Leg Workout brought to you by Austin's icepocalypse

It's an icy day in Austin and I decided to move my leg workout from the gym to home. I was going to write it out, but figured I try out a youtube video.

First I did a warm up:



Then I went through my routine of :

- Bulgarian Split Squats; Bird Dogs
- Kettle bell squats; Leg Circles
- Hip thrusters; Wall Sit
- One legged dead lift; Pistol Squat


Note on the hip thrusters: I should have demonstrated them better.  At the bottom hinge movement, you want your neck and head to ride along and not stay put on the bench; You'll get better range that way and will not stress your neck.

Enjoy!

Don't get trapped in a wallow loop!

If you haven't found success with weightloss or have fallen off the health "wagon", don't beat yourself up. You are not lazy. You just have not found your motivation or the right routine yet. There is a common tendency to blame yourself when you can't stick to certain diet guidelines. But maybe, just maybe, those guidelines are to blame.

The way I see it, you have a couple of options:

• Accept your physique/health/strength
• Choose to improve your physique/health/strength

What you shouldn't do is:

• Hate your current physique/health/strength and keep status quo

I was there before and it sucked. I was in a wallow loop. I would stick my toe into self-improvement, just to turtle up at the cold unfamiliarity and wallow on how much I suck at doing anything. Don't get trapped in the wallow loop. 

_____________________________________________________________

Let's say you just can't accept your current status, but keep "backsliding"?

STOP.BREATH.REFLECT

And answer the following question: What triggered the backslide? 

• Was it lack of will power? Maybe you decided on too many changes at once. 
• What are you going to do about it?
• Start small. Instead of saying, "I'm cutting out all carbs. Say: "I'll replace rice with cauliflower rice"
• Once you conquer a small change, it will give you motivation to tackle larger changes. Slow and Steady. Weightloss is not a race.
• Were you using food for comfort? Look, I use food for comfort ALL THE FREAKING TIME. The key is to pick healthier alternative comfort foods. 
• What are you going to do about it?
• Choose your pick-me-up foods I talked about in this post. If you turn towards healthier comfort foods a lot, you probably won't lose the weight (in all honesty). However, it will condition you away from more processed, sugar laden foods, which will definitely cause you to gain weight in the long run.
• And by steering clear of junk food, you can prove to yourself that you can change your behavior and it will give you motivation to take the next step of not running to comfort foods every time you have an emotional uprising (psst: I'm still learning this. Now I probably turn to comfort food every 3 uprisings)
• Did you just not have time? You don't have to cook everything from scratch. You don't have to plan everything to a "T". 
• What are you going to do about it?
• Stock up on quick meals, like Applegate sausages. Keep staples like lettuce, frozen veggies, lemons, olive oil, frozen bread, protein powder, and nutbutters. 
• Aim to cook protein twice a week and make leftovers. You can then wing the rest of your meals based on quick meals and your staples.
• Once you've chosen to make a home-based meal over stopping by Panera (and realized it wasn't so bad), it will probably give you the motivation needed to get you through the rest of a tough week. You got this.

For weight loss, what you want to do is get the ball rolling. You'll be surprised how quickly your routine will take off once you conquer small changes. And if you roll back:

STOP.BREATH.REFLECT

Work it: Bodyweight style

One of my goals for the year is to do one pull up. I've always wanted to do a pullup ever since elementary school. I've decided that this is my year.  Last year I improved my pushup, where I can do multiple legitimate pushups in a row. Basically I did modified versions until I got my strength up. But the pull up is a different beast. I think it requires a lot more resolve because it is just so much harder.

Once a week I strength train my upper body and I've been focusing on pull movements. Today I decided to give the dumbbells, bars, and cables a rest and just rely on bodyweight. I think it is so badass to see people do all kinds of exercises just using their bodyweight (ala pull up - video).

I've been relying on this article for progression advice. I've also done a lot of googling around for different exercises to try. Today before my workout I looked around online for my workout plan and wrote it on a sticky-- I have the same easy going approach to exercise planning as I have for meal planning. My main guidelines for upper body strength day is that I try to hit 2 exercises each of: chest, tricep, back, and bicep (and a lot of the exercises hit multiple areas). I also sprinkle in some ab work.

Here's what I did--

#1. Negative pullups. I used my gym's trx jungle gym and a high step to get to the pull up bar. The first one felt really good. I stayed at the top for a couple of seconds and felt in control. I was able to lower myself down. I tried to see if I could pull myself up at the bottom, but I couldn't. I only did seven of them before I tuckered out and my form petered out.  I still have a long way to go.

#2. A superset of equalizer pullups (video), equalizer tricep dips (video) with legs elevated on a small step, and equalizer knee ups (similar movement video)

#3. A superset of equalizer horizontal pushups (video), equalizer tricep extensions (video), and equalizer ground rotations (similar movement video)

#4. A superset of decline pushups on bosu ball, one-legged v-ups (similar movement) on bosu ball, and tire flips

#5. I finished the workout with 30 battle rope swings (alternative waves) on the minute for 10 minutes.

*whew* that seemed like a long time, but I got my workout in just under 55 minutes. And it was a great workout. I feel my arms already getting stronger.

That's me really really flexing by the way.

Quick workout recap + Meal Planning Preview of the week

Since I haven't built an audience (at all), I haven't been as diligent in keeping up with my progress, meal, and workout weekcap for the week.

For now, I'll summarize my movement for last week, and I'll hope to be better at updating the blog in the future.

• Saturday, 1/11: 1.5 mi walk and 30 minutes of yoga using the yoga studio app
• Sunday, 1/12: 1 mi run followed by 1 hour boxing class
• Monday, 1/13: Strength training at the gym that focused on upper body, followed by 10 minutes of the turkish getup. My strength training workout included 4 different supersets of:
• Assisted pullups and assisted dips
• Seated rows and dumbbell bicep curls
• Bench press and skullcrushers
• One arm cable fly and hand-to-elbow planks
• Tuesday, 1/14: 1 hour bootcamp class
• Wednesday, 1/15: 17 minutes of this kettlebell workout, using a 20-pound kb followed by 1 mile run. And then I hit a jazz fusion dance class afterwards.
• Thursday, 1/16: 15 minute circuit using the 12 minute athlete app followed by 5 minutes of yoga/stretching (side note: I was pretty short on time this day, but I wanted to get some movement and stretching in.). 
• Friday, 1/17: Strength training at the gym that focused on lower body, followed by 10 minute speed intervals on the stairmaster. My strength training workout included 3 different supersets of: 
• Squats on the squat rack and walking lunges with a kettlebell
• One-legged deadlift with a kettlebell and pistol squats with assisted trx band
• Weighted hip thrusters with 40 lb bar and stepups on bench with dumbbells
• Saturday, 1/18: 3.5 hour hike at enchanted rock
• Sunday, 1/19: 1 mile walk/run on incline followed by 1 hour boxing class

As you can see, I didn't fully rest for the last nine days. But I wasn't going all out those days either. I had days of walking and yoga or 20 minute workouts. The key for me is just to move. It lifts my spirit and gives me so much energy. 

Hike at Enchanted Rock. The day couldn't have been more perfect.

Meal Planning Preview

As far as meal planning for the week, I'm doing it by the seat of my pants. I know I'll be making the following:

• Crockpot salsa chicken (so I can make chicken salad and chicken wraps using chickpeas)
• Eggroll in a bowl

For today, I'm just making the chicken. I will then assemble my lunch tomorrow, which will probably include the chicken, lettuce, celery, almonds, mustard, olive oil, and raisins. Also, I am interested in trying out the chickpea wrap, which I'll probably make tomorrow after work. I don't think I'll make an extra snack. I bought hummus and veggies, which will serve as my snacks for the week. If I get creative, I might make something else,  but I'm good with my current lowest effort plan.

Quinoa feels like one big hug

Meal planning snuck on me this week. It was late Saturday when I plotted out what I was going to make for the week (and my grocery list). Here's a link to the summary of my meal planning process. I didn't feel like combing through my cookbooks, so I relied on my pinterest board. I decided on the following:

• Main Meals and Accompanying Sides
• Baked balsamic chicken from this recipe with the cranberry/pistachio quinoa from this recipe.
• Zucchini/Yellow Squash noodles with pasta sauce from this recipe with plain ole ground turkey.

The tomato sauce calls for coconut milk; and honestly, I do not like cooking with canned coconut milk. Not because I do not like the taste, but I get antsy over what to do with the rest of it. I hate throwing food away. So knowing that I would be using coconut milk this week, I decided to pick the following extra snack:

• Chia Chocolate Mousse (w/ an extra scoop of protein powder)

If I have any coconut milk extra, I'll experiment with smoothies.

First Meal Breakdown

Wait, isn't quinoa a grain? Yes, no, um, maybe. I've read a number of articles that say quinoa is the safe grain; that it is really a seed. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever it is; it is tasty. It feels like home; it feels like a nice big hug. Quinoa's warm exuberance is second to the classic french baguette, which is an even rarer treat. Since quinoa is higher in carbs than my usual side, I limit its warm embrace to once a month, sometimes every other month.

But first I marinated and seared the chicken before putting it in the oven:

While the chicken was baking, I cooked the quinoa. It is pretty straight forward:

While the chicken and quinoa were cooking, I minced a shallot, halved fresh cranberries, and portioned out some pistachios and pumpkin seeds. The original recipe called for 1/2 cup of pistachios, but I only had about 1/4. I supplemented the rest with pumpkin seeds.

I didn't use a whole shallot for the quinoa, so I decided to sauté the rest with steamed green beans.

After the quinoa finished setting, I added the fixings. The original recipe called for dried cranberries, but I used frozen instead. My number one mistake was that I used juice of 1 lemon. I should have used 1/4th a lemon because the cranberries already are so tart. To mask the bitterness, I added some coconut sugar, more salt, and a drizzle of olive oil.

The meal was really well rounded. And I'm definitely looking forward to leftovers.

I'm really glad I made the green beans because everything together tasted really good. Next time, I'll look to caramelize the cranberries (if there is such a thing).

Setting Mental Goals along with Physical Goals

I had a rude awakening today. I realized I am not as mentally grounded as I thought I was. I still believe whole heartedly in slow and steady. But last night I got depressed because I saw that I have a ways to go to get to my physical goal. I was so happy about my inch loss yesterday, I decided to take some progress pictures. Instead of celebrating the loss, I fixated on my flaws.

My waist is still too think
My butt needs more shape
My arms are still so fat
I am just so short and stout, I will never look good no matter what
.............. I went on and on.

And the reason being is that I tie my self worth to my appearance. I always have. Practically, I know this is horrendous for my mental health. But emotionally it is difficult to detach my appearance from my self worth.

Jillfit is one of the blogs that I follow, and she has a good topic about how "You must work on your mindset before you work on your physique." And that is the damn truth. Because no matter how much weight I lose, I'm still the same soul, but in a smaller vessel. In addition to focusing my energy on getting to my physical goal, I need to make head way on a self acceptance goal:

^^ This is a lot easier to read than to believe. But this month, I will keep repeating it to myself daily. Just reading it now, my spirits are uplifting.

Fortunately, one advantage to the slow and steady process of weight loss is that it helps prevent diet/exercise obsession. There is no need to obsess over food or exercise plans because those components seamlessly become a natural part of your routine. Just by mindfully eating and moving throughout the week, you get closer to your physical goals. But mental goals should not be glossed over. I advise setting both a physical goal and mental goal for your unique journey.